Pass the peas like we used to do
Growing up I was always surrounded by family. Although we moved around a lot, we often lived near relatives. I remember living around the corner from my grandmother, down the street from my cousins, up the block from my aunts, and down the street and around the corner from other extended family members- all in one neighborhood. With family being so close, we were often at each other’s houses. And what do you do when you’re sitting in the house? As many of you have found out in this quarantine – you eat!
Food always made an appearance when family was around. Sometimes it would seem magical, because I would be sitting around playing with my cousins, and all of a sudden I’d hear, “ya’ll eating?” Funny thing is, despite all of the TV shows and movies I watched with families sitting around the dinner table, and despite the fact that we always had a dining room or kitchen table, very rarely is that where we ate. No, that table was like the junk drawer, where the mail was kept, along with pens, change and newspapers. Now, of course people would sit in the chairs that were around the table- there just wasn’t anywhere to actually eat.
The living room is where all the action happened. This is the space that is likely responsible for my ADHD. We would put a towel down on the floor so we didn’t mess up the floor with our food. Some folks sat on the couch or in the kitchen chairs holding their plates, because we didn’t have tray tables back then. There would be multiple conversations being had, the TV would be going, we’d be eating and making up games, and of course a card game was likely to occur (i.e. Spades, I declare war, or tunk). And laughter… there would always be lots laughter (like bent over, holding your side, trying to catch your breath, tears comin’ down your face, foot stompin’, “my face hurts” kinda laughter). While some may not consider this a traditional family dinner, tradition is exactly what it was to me.
I miss this. It seems that in all of our pursuit for success, families have more geographical distance between them. It is not so easy to drop by when you have to gas up and pay tolls, oh and make sure the person is going to be home. Somehow, instinctively, we knew someone was at the house. Back in the day people would just show up. And then food would just show up. And in this showing up, we were saying, “I am here for you, and you are here for me, let’s feed each other physically and spiritually.” In this quarantine, this forced physical isolation has me craving those days. So once this passes over, I hope we can pass the peas like we used to do.