Me Time?

Disclaimer: This is not my typical blog post because its kind of a rant, and I am specifically requesting your involvement. Enjoy!

It is not uncommon to hear someone say, “I need some me time.” This statement is typically triggered by an event in which a person -typically a woman- feels pulled in many different directions, engaging in activities that ensure the well-being of others.

However, what does “me time” actually mean???

Does it mean alone time? Or simply time doing whatever it is I wanna do? Does it mean time away from certain people? Or time spent not catering to anyone but myself?

I sincerely ask this question as an un-partnered (cuz I ain’t claiming nobody) Black woman who has no biological or adopted children – unless you count my dog #shouldershrug. Is this “me time” something that only coupled folks and parents get to enjoy? Because, if you are single and childless, aside from work, is all your time considered “me time?” And if so, then why is this “me time” something I feel I desperately need?

Interestingly enough, I am not sure what it would even include. I happen to be kind of an extrovert. Therefore, it certainly would not consist of being alone because then who would I talk to? Or play games with? And other than the people (exes) I a l r e a d y got away from, there really isn’t anyone in my life that I mind being around. Furthermore, “me time” just seems like a rouse because the entire time I’d just be thinking about everything I need to do and worrying about the people who aren’t with me.

(releases deep sigh)

In my experience, even my friends and family who have children and say they want a break, don’t really mean it. For example, 10 years ago, I went on a cruise with my cousin. Two days in she was holed up in her room crying because she missed her baby. Last year I went to Mexico with another cousin. We weren’t fully seated on the plane before she began to shed tears talking bout, “I miss my baby.” (insert hard side eye and indignant head tilt) Now i know this may be insensitive, but I’m sitting next to her thinking, “girl, chill tf out,” while putting on my headphones – cuz I honestly didn’t want to hear her sniffling as I was gearing up for some “me time.”  Yes, I am a therapist, and no that was not empathetic. However, she is not my client soooo...

. . . & not to mention, I have colleagues who have expressed a desire to “get away from it all” but will then bombard you with pictures of their children, grandchildren, and spouses and then spend 30 minutes talking about their work. My own mother will go on vacation with my father and literally call me and my sister d a i l y, oftentimes multiple times per day. She doesn’t even call us that much when she’s home! I mean, I get it, because we’re awesome, but still. Enjoy your “me time” momma and stop blowing up my phone.

In conclusion (Tee He He), I’d love to hear your definitions of “me time” and how you spend it. Also, for women, particularly women of color, is “me time” really “we time?” Just asking for myself. Comment below ˅ with your thoughts and tune into #EbTheCeleb podcast and YouTube channel where I continue the conversation.